Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
