i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Terrible idea I love it
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
