clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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