When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
