Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm always down for nudity.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
