The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
someone owes me an orgasm
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
