you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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