youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Me too!
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize