my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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