Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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