weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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