I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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