You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
