Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
