I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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