Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
