So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
