We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
