So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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