dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
