Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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