Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
