Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
