theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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