Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
