We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
