i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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