i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
