Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
