people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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