I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
We smell like vodka and hangover
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