I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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