so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
