i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
