If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
only if we run a train.
done.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Randomize
