Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
