I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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