Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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