I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
