How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
