I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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