is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
