when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Randomize
