would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
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My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
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I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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