Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gargled with NyQuil
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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