i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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