I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
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