i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize