I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You are a genius and a whore.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
