At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
