You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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