Are we in a gay sports bar?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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