She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
