Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize