Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
