Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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