What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
