At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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