Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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