Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
