You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Will exercising make me less horny?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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