What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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