peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Randomize
