I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize